We want to grow. We declare our growth intentions in strategic planning meetings and then we set ambitious goals. We want to attract more clients to work with our advisory firms. The potential clients, the investors, also seem to want to hire advisors. Survey after survey shows that they have been thinking about it. Yet somehow the two groups never seem to meet much.

Much like a high-school dance, one group is standing shy in the corner gathering courage to approach the other. In the meantime, the second group is in the opposite corner, wondering why no one seems to be coming over except for a few strange characters with cheesy pick-up lines and aggressive approaches. This awkwardness persists in part because many advisors are trying to appeal to everyone instead of choosing someone.

Thankfully, in the world of romantic relationships we usually outgrow this phase and eventually meet our life partners. Society has a way of facilitating such connections. In the world of advice, however, many professionals (especially G2s: next generation advisors) feel like they are watching an empty dance floor for their entire careers.

And it feels a lot like high school: suppressed expectations, with a glimmer of hope that somehow something will change. The exchange of “strategies” between equally unsuccessful candidates, some of whom still insist on telling exaggerated stories. Old- school methods that the targets of all that solicitation absolutely can’t stand, but which for some reason persist anyway. It all results in the same frustration: half-hearted efforts at business development achieving about half of the expected growth.

It is vulnerable to approach a new prospective client and propose that they work with you. They may say, “No — you are not a good fit for me,” or even worse, “Someone else is better than you, and I would rather work with them.” It is so much more comfortable to stand in front of clients you have known for a long time and who appreciate, rather than question, the relationship.

Yet, it is not so difficult. It should not be. And it really begins with not looking at everyone out there and telling them that you are willing to dance with anyone who cares to dance with you. Growth begins by deciding who you are not trying to attract and then focusing on that one special person you actually want to approach — telling them how much you care and how interested you are.

So, this is my growth proposal for all our G2s: Find the kind of client you can’t stop thinking about and tell them how interested you are. Pick a market where you can solve a specific problem — business owners exiting companies, physicians overwhelmed by complexity, inheritors navigating sudden wealth — and approach those who actually have that problem. The more personal and targeted the approach, the more likely it is that you find yourself having fun on the dance floor, rather than watching others from the corner.